I Make Long Facebook Statuses

A long time ago in an internet far away, Facebook limited the number of characters you could use in your status. Seriously, if you exceeded the arbitrary and astonishingly short length the company thought was necessary to convey a complete thought, you’d receive a dialog box rather coldly stating that your status was too long.

This was much to my chagrin, but like the baby elephant tied to the stump I was trained to keep my Facebook statuses short and sweet long after they removed the restrictions and allowed posts long enough to overrun all known civilization.

Lately, however, I find the length of my posts to be creeping back up there into the stratosphere. Fifty words. A hundred. I believe I recently published my first 200 word post the other day. And, you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that!

Facebook had long been marred down by mindless link-sharing and endless advertisements, a necessary evil due to the fact that everyone’s on it and we’re all waking around with smartphones growing out of our left wrists. I am but one individual, but perhaps I can do my part in attempting to turn the tide. To make Facebook a place of contemplative philosophy, not trite expressions that do nothing for nobody. A place of individual art and photography, not another dreadful meme affixed to a cutting opinion.

We’re all sick with a virus that we keep on catching, unwilling to sanitize the problem for fear we might lose our high technology as a consequence. But our disease is making us bitter, and making us see the world, or rather a digital symbol of it, as an ugly place.

So I will make long Facebook statuses, even if they don’t get any “likes.” (Though strangely, they often do.) I’m done caring about little red numbers at the top of my screen. My hope is that you are at that point too, because if you are, you can be a part of making things better. Post a long Facebook status. Post something original. Post a video of you doing something cool. Whatever you want to do, just post something different that the link-bait fueled mess bludgeoning us with opinions that the lowest-tier social media has become. People are better than that.


On My Little Pony and Bronies


For those of you who don’t know, I’ll be using the word “Brony” according to the following definition.

Brony: A male fan of the television series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I am not a Brony. I am not a closet Brony.

In fact, I will say that I’ve only seen one episode of Friendship is Magic in my life. I will, however, admit that the one episode was both pretty good and pretty deep for a show about magical talking ponies.

Admittedly, I think that guys liking the show is a bit weird. But the affection for the show is something I am actually okay with. I guess you could say that I’m a closet Brony supporter.

Here’s why: I’m a fan of people not changing to fit the societal expectations of the people around them. If you are really interested in the show, I think it’s great that you’re not trying to hide that from the rest of the world. 

There’s a change in the winds, however. I think the fact that there’s such a large My Little Pony movement in males is indicative of a desire for a change in the common perception of males. Males have typically been viewed as testosterone-filled animals only interested in sports, food, and sex. Being sensitive to anything other than a strict set of male guidelines was, until recently, considered unacceptable. I think this a good thing, as long as it sets society a few steps closer to viewing a person as an individual and not as set of presumptions based on chromosomes.

All of that said, I’m probably not going to be your best friend if you’re a Brony. It’s not a judgement of what you’re into, it’s a matter of interests. I’m not interested in what happens to Twilight Sparkle or Rainbow Dash or whatever else is going on. Consequently, I’m probably not interested in other things you’re into. Just like you’re not interested in hearing me talk about the Atlanta Braves or what’s going on in my Animal Crossing town. 

My town is named Solitude, by the way. It’s named after the city in Skyrim as well as the fact that playing Animal Crossing is my solitude from real life. If My Little Pony is your solitude, I for one one won’t judge you. But please, for goodness sake, don’t talk about magical ponies all the time. It’s weird. 




The Great Elevator Experiment


Sometimes you just want to have a little bit of fun. For a class I was told to go observe people on my college campus. So I decided that I would do my observations in an elevator on campus for about 20 minutes. I am a very social person, so this was perfect for my personality. Here are my observations.

  • I said “hey” and asked how people’s day was going, how they were doing, or how classes were going. All perfectly acceptable questions under normal circumstances.
  • People responded in a surprised manner. Many of them felt uncomfortable with typical day to day conversations. Some ignored me, and some were listening to their music on headphones and seemed irritated to be interrupted.
  • Only a select few responded with anything other than one word answers: yes, no, good, and fine.
  • Only one person actually tried to bring up a conversation with me, and that was a person I had me before.
  • On a comical note, I rode the elevator facing backwards towards the back wall. Nobody said anything about it, but I got some very unusual looks. It’s not “socially acceptable” to face the back of the elevator.

Conclusion: riding an elevator can be a lot of fun. What is it about elevators that make people so uncomfortable? You should try it sometime, yourself.


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The Empire Strikes Back funny pics

There exists a kingdom. Happy to exist, the kingdom goes about it’s merry business, unimpeded by any force. It grows and produces; it’s residents thankful for the stability it provides. One day, it finds another kingdom. There they decide to trade with one another. Both kingdoms, allies. Both kingdoms, supporting and defending one another from attack. Attack brought on by other empires. The allies seek new allies, and soon a family of kingdoms dot the countryside. And the cycle continues all over the world. Each one has their own motivations. Some desire power; some fame. Some want to be loved, some want to be rich.

Every one of these kingdoms has a name. Cody. Julia. Barry. Matt.

We are the kingdoms. We are born as kingdoms and will forever be kingdoms. It’s our nature to achieve individuality. Our motivations are our own. Every system on Earth requires us to be that individual. Your job resume? You’re putting your kingdom on display for prospective employers to see. Your Facebook account? That’s your kingdom, available for everyone to peruse. From brands to bands to girlfriends, we seek the balance between our nature for individuality and our nature for collectivism.

But history has shown us that some kingdoms desire more than simple existence. Some want power over others. Some will do whatever it takes to overpower other people, their enemies. Some people seek to be an empire.

They seek to crush their foes, overpowering them with their size or their words. Overtaking others, the force of evil grows and expands until it is undefeatable by conventional means. Sometimes these empires of people find their way into places of power, where they have control over others. This entails true destruction, people under the grip of a power-hungry person being directly influenced.

Sometimes we all want fame, power, money, or really anything so much that we’ll try to overpower others to get it. The same feeling comes with winning. Weather it’s poker or baseball, we get a thrill from besting another person to achieve a goal. There’s nothing wrong with games or competition, and there is nothing wrong with fame, power, or money. But don’t live for the empire inside of you.

I write for two reasons. I write for God and for the love of writing. I would love to be a famous writer with plenty of money to spare one day, but I will not trample others in order to achieve those goals. If money/power/fame is your main motivation for doing ANYTHING, you’ve got the motives that will quickly turn you into an empire.