I Make Long Facebook Statuses

A long time ago in an internet far away, Facebook limited the number of characters you could use in your status. Seriously, if you exceeded the arbitrary and astonishingly short length the company thought was necessary to convey a complete thought, you’d receive a dialog box rather coldly stating that your status was too long.

This was much to my chagrin, but like the baby elephant tied to the stump I was trained to keep my Facebook statuses short and sweet long after they removed the restrictions and allowed posts long enough to overrun all known civilization.

Lately, however, I find the length of my posts to be creeping back up there into the stratosphere. Fifty words. A hundred. I believe I recently published my first 200 word post the other day. And, you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that!

Facebook had long been marred down by mindless link-sharing and endless advertisements, a necessary evil due to the fact that everyone’s on it and we’re all waking around with smartphones growing out of our left wrists. I am but one individual, but perhaps I can do my part in attempting to turn the tide. To make Facebook a place of contemplative philosophy, not trite expressions that do nothing for nobody. A place of individual art and photography, not another dreadful meme affixed to a cutting opinion.

We’re all sick with a virus that we keep on catching, unwilling to sanitize the problem for fear we might lose our high technology as a consequence. But our disease is making us bitter, and making us see the world, or rather a digital symbol of it, as an ugly place.

So I will make long Facebook statuses, even if they don’t get any “likes.” (Though strangely, they often do.) I’m done caring about little red numbers at the top of my screen. My hope is that you are at that point too, because if you are, you can be a part of making things better. Post a long Facebook status. Post something original. Post a video of you doing something cool. Whatever you want to do, just post something different that the link-bait fueled mess bludgeoning us with opinions that the lowest-tier social media has become. People are better than that.


Mainstream Rivalry


Do me a favor. Go find your invisibility cloak in sneak into somebody’s house tonight. Just wisp in there when they’re opening the door. Great! All right, now don’t mess with anything. Don’t make any noises. I just want you to hang around until somebody turns the TV on to the news.

If you’re here in the South though, you’ll have to wait until the mini-marathon of Duck Dynasty is over. 

Make a note of what station they instinctively turn to. Now you know that family’s political affiliation. Here’s a handy guide.

CNN: Democrat
NBC (and their gazillion satellite stations): Democrat
ABC: Democrat
CBS: Democrat
BBC: Weirdo… oh and probably Democrat
FOX News: Republican

Welcome to the mudslinging match that is mainstream media. It’s frustrating because with the diversification of media, the objectivity is gone. Mainstream news now has to pick an audience and stick to it. After all, those ads aren’t going to sell themselves. 

The tragedy comes when we as consumers buy into the idea that what we’re being told is valuable as to how we live our lives. It is not. Mainstream media is notoriously biased, and that’s the way the want it. 

I’m unabashedly conservative, but I find no value in Bill O’Rielly or Megyn Kelly sitting there yelling staunch ultimatums at me. I’m sorry, but that’s not the way true opinion forming works. My only theory is that Republicans really like to get preached at… oh wait… 

And speaking of Megyn Kelly, this is unacceptable [not really safe for work or my blog]. You as a journalist are not required to sell your body. You’ve already sold your soul to FOX News. 

I would dare say the reason why Democratic television has more spread is because they can at least spread their lies while not sounding like an idiot. 

But in relation to both sides, with us consumers as the battle-line, I have a question for us. Do we really think these stations are trying to support the public interest? They’re controlled by smart money-hungry people. They sway our political interests so they can make more money. We are being manipulated. 

I beg all of us to do some things:

  • Keep up with the news.
  • Run everything you hear and see through a filter of common sense.
  • Form your own political opinions, separate from media and family (and preachers).
  • Rely on local stations.
  • For goodness sake, don’t believe anything you see on social media.

Political power is a huge factor in the rivalry of mainstream media. It’s best to avoid that battle altogether. 

[Thanks to Greg Denney for the suggestion!]