Tell Me Lies, Tell Me (Five Different Kinds of) Lies

Lies are all around us, artfully weaving their way around and through culture with impressive tenacity. These are the most common.

1. The Perpetual Lie

Perpetual lies come from perpetual liars. The unfortunate reality is that there are people who can’t stop lying, even when the truth is both more necessary and valid. People don’t become perpetual liars over night. It usually begins with one successful lie that sets a person on a path to despair, each lie taking a step from point A to B until everything becomes a lie. It’s a bad habit that turns an individual into someone who has unlearned how to deliver even the most simplistic of truths. These people can become impossible to make friends with, and are very difficult to keep in a job environment.

If only all lies come from perpetual liars, the world would be simple.

2. The Exaggeration Lie

It’s the fish tale kind of lie. These types of lies happen all of the time. It saves face when you tell people you were only running 60 in a 55 and got a ticket, despite the fact that you were actually running 75 because you just weren’t paying attention. Exaggeration paints you in a better light, despite the fact that most people are astute enough to know you’re doing it.

It’s become so culturally accepted, in fact, that not exaggerating actually make you seem like a less social person. Tell what really happened, with no spice or extra details, and you’re considered boring. We even have a word for collective exaggeration: lore.

3. The Rumor Lie

You nasty nasty person. The favorite weapon of high school girls across the world, planting tactical, villainous rumors about people you don’t like is an art. It’s why everybody thought I was gay in early high school, along with other nasty rumors. The problem is, they don’t stop in high school.

Nothing is sacred in the workplace anymore. People use blackmail and rumors to stifle someone else’s advancement, all the while boosting their own. Amazon is, according to The New York Times, a house of horrors for personal detriment. Seeing this kind of stuff among adults proves that many people are without honor, and makes me personally concerned about the scarcity of good natured people.

4. The Omission Lie

This is when people carefully work around the truth, hoping to avoid any inciting information. And it’s so irritating to watch someone do it. I only want the truth, the whole truth, and… you get the picture.

But many people think that this is morally okay, as long as you don’t incriminate yourself by telling directly incorrect information. It gives a type of grey area buffer that your statements exist in, functioning as a type of Schrodinger’s state where your statements exists as simultaneously true and untrue.

5. The Convenience Lie

This is the one I’m most guilty of. I very often tell people I’m somewhere before I actually get there. This is simply because I don’t want to go through the trouble of explaining that I’m not actually in Auburn. I’m in Notasulga, which is technically right outside of Auburn. I’ll tell people that I have returned the Redbox movie, when in fact I was going to return it on my way back from work.

In short, I’m too lazy to explain every detail to people, so it’s much easier to just tell people I’ve done it. And you know what? Sometimes I feel like this a is perfectly fine. I mean, I know it’s a lie, but I almost never feel guilty after doing it.

So, my question for you all in the comments is this. Which of these kinds of lies is morally okay? Which ones are perfectly fine, and you shouldn’t feel like your “sinning” for utilizing them? Of course, my answer is “none of these,” but I could see the arguments for numbers 2,4, and 5. What do you think?


About the photo: No cute couples were harmed in the making of this photo. Still, brick throwing is dangerous. Don’t try this at home. Instead, go to the park.


In response to today’s Daily Post prompt: Elevators scare me. So, I prefer to be alone in them so people don’t see the tension on my face. And if I die, I die in quiet contemplation that, indeed, elevators were in fact the death of me.





2 thoughts on “Tell Me Lies, Tell Me (Five Different Kinds of) Lies

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