Four Things I’d Put on a Space Probe

I am horrible at following writing prompts. My writings are like those movies that are “based on a true story,” except in my case, my blogs are “based on a true writing prompt.” That’s how yesterday I went from a writing prompt about living inside a movie to only even mentioning a movie one time.

I remember way back in fourth grade I was given a writing prompt: “Describe a rainy day.” I ended up writing this compelling story about a balloon that never popped or something. I made an F.

“That was really great, Matt, but you didn’t follow the prompt,” the teacher said.

“But the balloon went through the rain,” I said. For some reason that didn’t float with my teacher.

What does that have to do with anything? Nothing, except that if NASA built a space probe that carried the best of humanity, I’d want that story to be on it. Oh, and that just happens to be today’s Daily Post prompt!

NASA is building a new Voyager spacecraft that will carry the best of modern human culture. What belongs on board?

Gotcha, I’ll do my best to actually write about the prompt today. I’m going to make the assumption that this spacecraft is no bigger than all of the other Voyager probes, so we probably can’t fit people. And space is probably limited to about four things. So, I want that story I wrote in fourth grade, along with these four things:

1. The Kirby Epic Yarn Soundtrack

I couldn’t be more thankful for its existence. It is three hours of peace and tranquility. If aliens discovered the spacecraft and it was playing this music through the audio systems, there’d be no threat of violence. We’d probably all just cry together about pain and loss and nostalgia and we would all be fine. Seriously though, this soundtrack is like a mini psychotherapy appointment.

2. A Lucky Drinking Bird


I have one. They’re awesome.

Throw in a glass, a bottle of water, and maybe some IKEA instructions as well. I just hope the aliens are smart enough to figure out how they work.

3. A Map of Middle Earth



I just think it would be hilarious to give them the wrong map. The aliens would come to Earth expecting things to look like Middle Earth, then they arrive to realize it looks like actual Earth. They would be all confused. Then they would probably blow us up. Maybe that’s not a good idea after all.

4. A Transcript of This Blog 


Maybe it can find an audience on another planet since I’m 105,331 words into this blog and can’t seem to find an audience here on Earth.
Just kidding. If you’re reading this, you’re amazing. I just had to be a bit passive-aggressive for a second.

So there you have it. I know this list wasn’t all that serious, but what would you put on a space probe? Let us know in the comments below!

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