My Class 2 Pet Peeves

There are twenty things in my life that just annoy the crap out of me. Because I’m super weird, I’ve decided to rank them in much the same way that the American judicial system ranks misdemeanors. This means Class 4 is the least offensive, while Class 1 is unforgivable. Now we’re getting into the nitty-gritty,

5. People trying to sound stupid.


If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring to the type of people who reject anything halfway intelligent-sounding. This is a very high school way of looking at things. It has no place then, and has no place now.

4. Using Bible verses out of context. 


If I hear Jeremiah 29:11 at another graduation, I’m going to stand up and read the entire chapter. No, I’m going to read the entire book of Jeremiah. Maybe then people will realize that this verse doesn’t mean what you think it means. When you take verses out of context like this, you reduce the Bible to simple platitudes. That’s not cool.

3. Catcalling


Guys, it’s time you stopped doing this. If you think she’s pretty, tell her she’s pretty. Make friends with her, ask her how she’s doing. But please don’t yell and whistle from across the street like a wild animal.

2. “That Voice Thing”


Yeah, you know. The one sorority girls have where they elongate every syllable in order to sound kind of preppy. Yeah, don’t do that. Be yourself.

1. Blatant disregard for the environment.


I don’t care what your beliefs are, it is our duty to take care of the planet. Why? Because one day you’re going to see your grandkids be born and you’re going to want them to see their grandkids.

… I type as my town experiences a record low.

Word count: 238

Tomorrow: Class 1 Pet Peeves
Yesterday: Class 3 Pet Peeves

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